I've started writing a story and want people's opinions on it so i know what to improve on, please comment with constructive criticism and things you liked.
Enjoy!!!!
Bethan
xx
Out of the Skies
All his life, Peridot had been told to stay in cloud cover.
His father and grandfather had been told the same thing so had all the other
Angels. They were told this because of the Hunters down below. Peridot, Aura
and Obsidian had only ever dreamt of what a hunter looked like, Angels never
saw Hunters and survived to tell the tale. Both Peridot and obsidian’s fathers
were part of the fallen; those that were shot down out of the skies to the
ground below. They had been blown out of cloud cover by the wind into the open
where the Hunters could get to them. There was never a time in the Angel’s
history where there were no Hunters or Fallen.
Aura’s parents were part of the Angel Royal family, King
Mercury and Queen Tianna. Peridot and Obsidians families were the Royal’s
closest friends. Peridot and Aura were together although neither of their
parents agreed to the match. They had planned their whole life together even
though they were only sixteen. Obsidian was their only and closest friend and
had been since Element school, where they learn how to fly, heal and fight. The
three of them went everywhere together.
The Angels were a dying race, more and more Angels were
being shot down and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Once they were fallen
there was no way back as the Hunters were everywhere and made sure that the
Angels couldn’t contact anyone above. There were schools and hospitals being closed
everyday due to the depleting number of Angels, less Angels were going out
during the days and cracks were starting to show in their whole infrastructure.
And although all this was happening the Angels were still educating their
young, hoping to bring a brighter future for them and the next generations
One day they were flying towards their school on the other
side of the valley, when the clouds suddenly dispersed. Before they could stop,
they were in open sky.
Bang!
Bang!
Bang!
Three Angels fell from the sky, spiralling down towards the
ground.
